It’s a snowy Sunday afternoon and I am a little grumpy because I can’t think of what to write for my blog but I want the company of people responding to what I think. There is a funny combination of shy and arrogant that doesn’t let inner life out and yet wants to be known. I think being older and also living alone increases ones experience of inner life. It is amazing the way your thinking never shuts up. When I went to school and taught I spent a lot of time thinking about the kids and what we would do and what would work for them, so my inner comments on life were not near as prominent as they are now. Now there is so much less need for anyone to hear what I perceive. So I tell it all to me. Lately I am thinking “enough already”. Self-doubt usually hides anxiety about something. Ah, yes, in 5 months I am moving. David sent pictures of the house. I love the one that shows it through the trees. Maureen Dowd wrote a useful article recently telling about how it is day two that matters once day one has been successfully launched. It’s day two that I am pondering lately because I know that no matter how carefully one thinks of every detail, life itself will introduce a new wrinkle. I am not much a lover of change. It takes me so long and slow to get in that once I am there I want to sty a long time.
